Tears of the Heart
by LoveDanceFaith
Summary: There are many things that Edward and Bella must face together-an angry king, a broken heart, and ultimately- a hard life together and apart. Just goes to show the powerful affect of love... Totally AU AH. Somewhat ooc.
1. It Starts With a Look

**Hi All, this is my second attempt at posting any of my writing, so I hope you enjoy it. It was originally written as a way to keep my best friend from going crazy while she did Chemistry homework...the things we do for those we love :] Enjoy.**

**Oo-btw...Although you will find that the characters names won't come up often, I don't own them, k?  
**

Once upon a time there lived a great guy, but funny story, this beautiful girl, Bella- who was smart, but a little scared because she came from a yellow castle with a giant king who always put her down- came and looked at him. As she did so he appeared to her differently, as if she saw him through different eyes. He suddenly turned from a regular guy with a knack for making her laugh into a sparkling beauty who could pull her up even on her worst day. Yet, somehow, she never thought he could look at her that way too, because everything she believed told her that she wasn't worth it. That she would not match up to any other girl the guy had ever been with. Even when everyone else told her that he looked at her as if all he wanted to do was make her happy, she could still not bring herself to hope. She could not risk the pain. So she would go back to the castle every night, and sit and wonder and dream.

Once upon a time, there lived an ordinary guy named Edward. But, funny story, he ran into a girl one day-no, not just a girl. A Princess. At least, that is how he saw her. When he discovered that she was even at his own school, he thought that he would die with happiness. He had always liked girls- as anyone could tell you- and he thought that she seemed like she would make a…very good friend... So day after day, he waited. Biding his time, he patiently waited for the perfect opportunity to get to know her. Eventually, talking to her here, and learning about her there, the pieces began to fall together as she slowly worked her way into his mind. However, although they were friends, there was always the "what ifs" in the back of his mind.

Work.  
The hours from hell. Assisting the Red Cross in taking blood was never something he particularly enjoyed. Because of this, he finally made a decision- he, an ordinary guy- would ask her to come with him. Perhaps finally silencing the voices in his mind. After a soft rebuttal, however, he finally succumbed to the pessimistic attitude encompassing his mind, crumpled to the chair, and wondered "what's the point?" deciding just then that "just friends" they would stay.  
But, as with anything, the passage of time either softens or intensifies passion and emotion. Not so abruptly his eye began to again turn in her direction, and the scent of her hair when she turned to speak to him enveloped his senses more that he would ever admit.  
Once again he laughed longer and spoke louder. He started to care about how he presented himself. He went to the library more than ever- even checking out several books on chivalry. By this time the passage of one year had turned into the next.

**There it is-the beginning, at least. Let me know what you think! Its a short chapter, but more to come. **

**~A  
**


	2. Hidden Crowns

**AN-I would just like to make one comment...okay, well one if you are lucky! (I tend to ramble..) The timeline in this chapter (and for a majority of this story) will fluctuate between a few points in time. It will go so far in one person's view, and then backtrack in the other one's perspective. If this gets confusing, please let me know. He and She should both be on the same time by the end of the chapter. If this gets confusing and you have any suggestions for clarification, please please please let me know! I would appreciate it.**

**Oo-right...don't own them...(okay, thats two comments...crap!)  
**

The Boy was walking one day, dreaming about another pointless day, when he hears her voice. As he turns to look at her, he gladly receives her news of a special event she wants him to go to. Or, is his mind deceiving him? Did she simply ask if he _was_ going? Many thoughts and hours later, he decided that he would go, but not with her.  
For he did not want to be forward.  
But once there, seeing her sitting in her element, with her friends, she did not seem so far away. She was just a girl-a girl he knew nothing about. Yet, a girl he so desperately wanted to learn about. So as the passion of the night overtook him, he dared to reach out- try new things just for her. He attempted to say all the right things, yet, when it came down to it, he felt so inadequate. She was incredible, and in the end, all he could do was watch-and hope that someday he could make her smile.

Tossing and turning, sleep escaped the Princess-his name on her tongue and his face in her dreams. She sleeplessly wondered where this was going, and what ever she should do about it. Much like blood covering a wound, worry absorbed her mind, and helpless voices haunted her. Her friends' advice mixed with her own worries into a bitter tonic. Yet, when he looked at her, even through all her worries, he made her happy. When he smiled the voices stilled, and she just saw HIM-pure and simple.

_"You never have a chance" her personal demons yelled  
_

Her friends chastised her for his recently lacking choices, adding to her doubt; and the more he talked about his previous relationships in front of her, the more her demons tore her down.  
She was a princess in every right, but the big yellow castle was no escape, and it did not give her the crown she desired. Instead, carrying a crown of pain- a crown of tears- she walked in self-doubt. Pessimism was her companion whose hand she held tightly too. So, she shrank back- her own pain and tears drowning her own burning desire to be loved. She turned away from the one thing she wanted most.  
But, as with anything, the passing of time either intensifies of softens desire and emotion, and as days passed, his name unwillingly printed itself further onto her heart. Because of this, when a fellow Princess invited her for a swim, she released her inhibitions and went. Seeing him there simply served to intensify her feelings, and all she could do was sit helplessly and try to cover her crumbling walls with the shrieks and fears of the horror movie playing in the background.  
Days passed.  
_ Her mind closed-shutting out everything around her.  
_As her heart broke open, the voices increased in her head-shouting accusations, possibilities, and "what ifs."  
Finally, one day, she decided-her choice was made and there was no going back. She deserved what she wanted- even if she did not believe it in her heart, she knew it in her mind. And she was so incredibly tired of fighting with herself. So, she went out on a limb; she put her heart on her sleeve. It was encased in steel, but placed outside of the protection of her unbreakable walls nonetheless.

A winter night, the snow falling gently around him as he walked closer-his eyes reflecting the stars as he looked up at her. As he did so, she finally saw it, she finally understood what everyone had been telling her. Her revealed heart let her see the desire in his eyes- the need to make her smile. And just as the core of the earth would melt Antarctica, she suddenly felt the steel around her heart begin to burn in the fire of his eyes. And as she succumbed to the burning pain of her scarred covering melting away, burning to ashes, she fell. No inhibitions. No future. No past. She simply fell, and hoped with all her burning heart that he would be at the bottom. To catch her when she finally let go of the branches she was holding so tightly onto.

He tossed and turned. Why. Couldn't. His. Mind. Leave. Him. Alone?  
After that sleepless night, he decided she was untouchable- that all he could do was dream, that all he could do was think about her.  
Although he was learning about very literal heartstrings in biology, the emotional heartstrings were indescribable. His humor was his saving grace- embarrassing her at every chance he could served to numb his burning emotion. He was hot and cold, fire and ice. One moment, warm with hope, he would speak to her-reaching out for her hand. Common blunders were made-cliché lines overused, but he hoped nonetheless. Yet, the next minute his fiery heart iced over, the searing pain from the drastic change turning him into a distant and angry person. He was Stoic and Cold.

_An ice sculpture, captive to everything he wanted to tell her. _

His dreams about moonlight walks left his own pillow glistening with fallen stars, fallen tears.

Days passed, and his fear grew. She was a princess. She was beautiful. She was pure. He wanted to buy her the world, but how could he? What could he give her that she did not already have?  
So he watched, he stared in wonder- and as he did so he suddenly became aware of her crown. Or, one that was supposed to be there. Was not every Princess supposed to have a crown? But it was gone, she wore no crown, nothing to signify her real worth, her real title. What he could not understand was that she did have a crown, but it was not one visible. For a crown of tears is something very personal. She wore it on her heart, locked away where only she could see. But, as he stared more closely, wondering at this, his heart began to beat faster inside of his chest.  
He suddenly saw how she looked at him- he saw the questions in her eyes, and he wondered if he perhaps had a chance with her after all. Yet-the questions in her eyes…

Left still in undeniable doubt- he made a decision. He told her of all his previous "friends", all his previous girls, and she did not turn away. Instead, day by day, right in front of his eyes, something remarkable happened. He saw even more pain and worry fill her eyes. No apparent reason for this, his heart failed to beat, his breathing slowed, what had he done to her? Then, slowly, he began to grasp the reason for her fear. Her heart began to appear. First it was vague, shallow. A small beat on her sleeve. Barely visible, but it was there. Over time he saw its form grow and then he saw the shiny steel covering. Scratched and dented from years of wear, it covered her fragile heart. "Much like a pearl is a reaction to a small irritation." he thought.

_What he did not realize was that it was her hidden crown that pierced her heart inside the metal covering every time she breathed._

And the covering was only to keep others away. For it was HER crown. Her prize. It was not something to be shared.

His breathing hitched, and his own needs were pushed aside. For he saw HER-pure and simple. And all he wanted was to take that heart, he wanted her to be his. He so desperately wanted to protect her, even from herself.  
He didn't understand.

_He didn't grasp anything. _

Oh, but how badly he wanted to.

The starlit night calmed him as he walked toward the precipice he saw her standing on. As the snow fell softly around him, his passion calmed. He was filled with peace for a moment, and all he felt when he looked at her was calm, steady need. He needed her- he needed to make her smile. As he drew closer, watching the moon glitter in her hair, he began to notice the stars' sparkle get lost in the shimmer of her tears. As he stood there looking up at her, he felt every tear drop fall, crystallized as they fell from the precipice, turning to ice, cooling his hands as he reached out to catch the tiny icicles.  
_Beauty beyond imagination._  
He slowly watched her as the steel covering around her heart began to glow red-hot, and as she stepped forward, he watched in horror as she fell- as she simply let go. Morning and night mixed together. Fear and longing a burning mixture. His own will was frozen in place,  
As he wondered if he could save the very thing he longed for.

**Review-what more can I say?? **

**~A  
**


	3. Take a Deep Breath as You Fall

**Okay, now really people...I could be spending my posting time sleeping...so please review...  
Good, Bad, Fantastic, Horrible-let me know! This is personally, one of my favorite chapters, so enjoy!**

**See, I told you their names didn't come up often...and in case you haven't figured it out yet, its an AH story :] Sorry if you were expecting otherwise. There is a reason why their names don't come up very much, if anyone is interested I might tell it to you all at some point, but I am hoping for at least a few reviews as proof of readers before then...! So again, no, the characters aren't mine.**

No Inhibitions. No future, no past. She simply fell. But, as with anything, the passing of time must bring an end to one thing or another. As the wind whipped her hair around her face, her eyes closed. Not daring to see what awaited her at the bottom of the tragic fall, she instead focused inward-absorbing the burning pain from her heart and wondering about what was happening to her most prized crown.  
_Wonder ceased._  
Tears breaking open, her crown shattering into a million small pieces as she hit the bottom. Yet, it wasn't quite the bottom. Underneath her, drowning in her flowing tears, he sat.  
_He wept._  
And as she looked on his face, she knew. She knew he understood-he saw her heart, bare and singed. Raw from years of assault-her heart lay open, no covering, and as the singed metal pieces fell, burning, from the precipice, their eyes locked. He was drowning. At the same time he was absorbing and understanding her pain, he was also drowning in the endless flow of her tears. For as her crown broke open, all the tears that it held, all the secrets it had locked away in the salty mixture, rushed forward.  
So she ran.  
She ran as fast as her tired body would let her. Inhibitions. Her past. Her future. They all haunted her. They followed her, clinging onto her unprotected heart-ripping it open. Bleeding tears, sweating blood. What was she to do? She had taken a chance, and at the time it had felt amazing. It was perfect. But she did not have faith in him. She saw his fear, and she was the only one who could save him. Or so she thought. Her heart, sheltered for so long from others, did not understand how strong they were, and as weak as she was, she could not grasp how much he wanted to help her, even through his own pain.  
The snow turned to rain, as her tears and breathing slowed. Her heart- barren, empty, and numb- weakly beat back in her chest- the tears left around it starting to freeze-turning her heart an icy cold. Numb now, she limped back to the yellow castle. Yes, she had survived the fall. Yes, he has caught her. And yes, he had not failed in his task.  
But she didn't understand.  
She didn't grasp anything.  
_And how badly she wanted to run from it all._

All he could do was stare. An ice sculpture, frozen in time, but this time it was from sheer unadulterated fear. Yet, as she fell, closer every second, and as he looked on her face, he knew. He saw her eyes, closed in fear, and closed in trust. As he did so his own need abandoned him.  
There was no wonder. Stepping forward, arms reaching-  
She fell into his arms.  
Just as a puzzle piece slips into place, she fit perfectly in his arms; yet, his joy did not last for long. For at the very moment she landed, several things happened at once. Her being his only focus, he did not initially notice the crown around her heart fall as soon as the metal had burned away. He did not notice that burning metal falling behind her. Yet, the scene soon became clear to him.  
_He finally understood._  
He got it.  
Her tears flooded him, the ground where he sat soon filling with the pain-filled tears from her crown. Shattered into a million pieces, the shining remnants of her most prized possession poured out everything that it had so long held. He was drowning. Overwhelmed by the sheer amount of pain and anger dissolved in the endless flow of tears, he could do nothing but stare at her as the tears turned into a salty river, threating to drag him under. Their eyes locked. As her eyes pierced him, he felt so utterly helpless. He did not know how he could tell her it was going to be all right in one glance. He could not comprehend how to tell her everything he wanted to in on brief period of time. So instead he simpl looked in wonder at the depth of her eyes and tried to portray to her his shock at the intensity of what her heart held. It was all he could do, and he hoped it was enough.  
It wasn't.  
_End of story_.  
Or was it? As he watched her turn and run away as fast as she could, unable to speak, or stop her, the flow of tears ebbed. He saw the glittering pieces of her broken crown lying on the ground, and he saw the steel covering burned into a thousand pieces of ash, but the tears followed her. Her demons again pursued after her. And as she took her pain, all he was left with was a memory. A fleeting moment in time. Yet, it was something he would never forget. She had just fallen off a cliff, and lost all protection for her heart. He had just caught her, and was finally given a chance to look on that heart. No lies- he saw Her. Pure and Simple. He loved that memory. And now he had let her go.

He messed up and he knew it. But what was he supposed to do? He knew that he should have said something while she was still there, while her tears still flowing. He knew this, yet, he just couldn't do it at the time. He was human, after all. He was just as broken as she. But he couldn't let her go.  
_He Loved Her._  
The True End of Story.  
As he lay, tossing and turning once again, later that night, he finally gave up trying to sort out everything that was happening. He knew he wanted her back- needed her back. But he just did not know how to reach out to her. How to get her to trust him again? She obviously did not understand how much he could take. And she did not understand that she didn't have to protect anyone else, especially him from her pain. But, his own personal demons were with him night and day as well, and they just wouldn't let him help her in the way she needed. He was again captive to everything he wanted to tell her. So he made a decision that night. If he couldn't tell her in person how he felt, he would tell her with silent words. With paper and a pen, he went old-school.  
He wrote a letter.  
The most beautiful letter he was capable of, and by the time he was finished, he was so drained, that it took all he had in him to seal the tear-soaked letter and send it on its way.  
_To her._

Day and night, her demons once again haunted her. Her now-numb heart barely beating, she went through the motions of the day, yet never really doing them. To an outsider it looked as if she had shut down, stopped feeling anything, but really, it was the complete opposite. She felt everything. Bitter disappointment at how he reacted, chastisement from letting herself fall in the first place, and anger and regret from running . Yet, what was she to do? She knew she had messed up, whether it was in falling in the first place, or running afterward, she was not sure, but still, she felt wrong. She felt empty.  
Her heart, beating once again in her chest, had started to heal from the wounds it had suffered. However, instead of growing back in a new cover of steel, scar tissue grew. Leaving her heart open, exposed to the world, it began to change. It began to feel. And instead of being a constant problem, the scars instead served only to remind her of the lessons she had learned from that fall. It reminded her of the freedom she had felt as she fell, it reminded her of the look in his eyes, they reminded her of the tears that had finally been freed from their prison. They reminded her of the rest of that night. And every time she looked on them, it reminded her of one very basic thing.  
_She loved him._  
Pure and simple-she had first realized it later that very night of the fall.  
Safe and warm in her room-her haven, her heart had finally begun to thaw out. And as it did so, she was able to look on it truly for the first time in ages. It had seemed like a lifetime since she had been able to be honest, even with herself, about the state of her heart, about the affect her crown of tears was having on her.  
But as it lay there, open and raw, she could finally look. Fearless for once in her life she was able to be honest with herself, and what she found underneath the wounds from her crown were surprising.  
She found memories.  
Moments in time.  
She saw herself as a little girl, she saw her freedom, she remembered her joy.  
Then she saw the first time she was introduced to pain. The moment she took hold of its hand. She saw the day she received her crown of tears. The first time she wore it in public and was shunned, deciding then to wear it on her heart. She remembered her trust in her king. Then later images flashed her anger toward him. She saw her life flash before her eyes-still images of her sanity degrading. And she finally saw it all come unstrung. For she saw his name printed on her heart, she saw him swimming, she saw him catching her tears. And she saw him drowning. But as she looked on that scene one more time, she saw something else in his look. She couldn't name it, but it made her wonder. And as another day dawned, she hoped with all her healing heart that it could be made right.

Saturday morning-the sun broke bright and clear. The rain from the previous night made the trees glisten, and the birds' song was one of joy. Her heart was still heavy, but the crispness of the day acted as a balm. As she walked softly across the narrow hallway, the mail-table caught her eye. It was not the bright packages or gilded letters that made her stop, but it was instead the plain white envelope, dull in comparison to the rest that made her pause. She picked it up, gasping as she did so-for she saw his address, his handwriting that had tediously printed out her address. And as she opened it, her breathing hitched-her scarred heart beating furiously inside her chest- a mixture of fear and anticipation stumbled her hands. She wondered fiercely as she ripped the envelope and gently pulled out the precious contents.  
Wonder ceased.  
As she read the most beautiful letter she had ever received.

_ I don't know what to say. Where to start? How do you express with words something only a heart can feel. Only my heart.  
I Love You.  
Don't stop reading, please. I need you, yes, but I will let you go if that is what you need. I promise you, though, that if you keep running from me like you did the night you fell, I will cease to exist. Please, you are too much of me for you to just let go. To just run. I know I messed up-I know I am human, but are not all of us? I pray with my every breath that I can do it over again, but God will not grant me this wish, so I beg of you to grant it for him. Give me another chance.  
I know that I did not give you the support you needed that night. I know that you needed to be held- to be loved. I failed. And I am so incredibly sorry.  
When you fell, at that very moment, I did not know what to do-but when I realized that you trusted me, all I wanted to do was catch you. I did not care what happened to me, and I still don't, because, you see- I love you more than life.  
I know that we never became close with that intention of loving each other, but it happened. I fell in love with you as hard as you fell of the cliff that night. I just never realized it until you were lying there.  
You were so broken. All I had wanted was to understand, and I finally received that understanding. Your hair stopped covering your face, your covering fell from around your heart.  
Do you realize how beautiful you are? Do you understand your worth?  
I don't think you do. I now know all the pain that you carried, and do carry; I just want you to know that you are so much better than you think you are. You take my breath away-you are my oxygen, my life, and my sun.  
You see, after you fell and you were lying in my arms, I was the happiest man in the world-I think that is when I really realized I loved you. And then as your tears started to flow from that crown of yours, it just swept everything away. I was overwhelmed by your agony. I finally saw what you had been hiding from me. Do you know what that did to me? Please, will you let me explain?  
It tore me in half. It killed me to see what had happened to you, what you had suffered. It angered me to know that you had held this for yourself for so long. And lastly, it reminded me so much of my own heart, that I thought I was going to die. I knew that you understood such pain, and although our lives are so different, I saw in your heart much of the same pain I see in mine. Pain that I never thought anyone would be able to understand. So when you looked at me that night, I did not know what to say. How could I portray all of this in a glance? So instead I just let you see exactly what I was feeling, and I am afraid that at that moment it was utter anguish. But I never wanted you to leave- I could and still can handle what you are willing to give me. So I beg you, run if you must.  
But understand this, I love you more than life, I don't know if you feel the same- I doubt you could love someone as terrible and unworthy as me. But if you can find it in your shattered heart to let me back in, I promise you with every breath and fiber of who I am- I promise you with all of my own heart that I will help put you back together.  
Don't forget me.  
All my love ~_

And there it ended-his signature a blotched spot where his tears had fallen.

**Hope you enjoyed it ~A**


	4. Screams

**First of all, thanks to my First Reviewer, Chuloe of the Earth! So sorry that I didn't personally respond, but I thought this would be a little more effective :] So I repeat my two key phrases without any further ado-then on to the story! (Which, I hope, you enjoy as much as I did re-reading what I wrote as I dug it out of my files!) Wait-was that considered further ado...?  
**

**1) Please Review-it really is encouraging as a writer. I want this story to be as good as possible, so any thoughts whatsoever (Love it, Hate it, ect) are welcome. **

**2) While I did not originally write this story as Edward/Bella-since it now is, I don't lay claim to them. Sigh :]  
**

Tears. Would they never end? Yet, somehow, they were different this time. Instead of being bitter tears, tears that she constantly tried to push back, they were sweet tears. They cleansed instead of burned. As she read the letter, her heart calmed-its beat a steady pace as a new sensation started to grow.  
What? She wondered.  
What was this foreign emotion?  
And then she realized-it was Joy. Something she had not felt since she was a little girl.  
_So she ran. _  
She ran as fast as her body would allow. No inhibitions, no past. But most definitely future. Her new joy soared as she let her heart lead the way. And this time, hours later, when she finally reached his doorstep-there was no wonder. She knew he would be there to catch her.  
_As she fell breathlessly into his arms._

"You came." He said.

"How could I not? You broke through my walls, and you broke my heart. But only so I could love you even more."

"You love me?" Shock and Joy were fighting a fierce battle on his expression.

"But I failed you. I let you go and I thought I had lost you forever."

"No, not forever. You only let me go for a little while so you could have me back forever."

And so they talked, two dark shadows in the doorway as the fiery sunset faded into soft pinks, and slowly disappeared into black.

He was sitting, all alone the florescent lights that his parents insist he flicker on doing nothing to brighten his dreary state of mind. His letter now sent, all he could do was wait-and it was very literally sucking the life out of him. Trying to concentrate on his paper for school, reruns of the letter kept typing out instead. Haunting and mocking him.  
_  
And then, because of the protagonists approach to the situation, Godfrey, the antagonist, was forced__** to run if you must. But understand this, I love yo....**__(backspace) Godfrey, the antagonist, was forced to live with his past decisions with no hope of ever righting them. As his second wife Nancy stated __**but I will let you go if that is what you need. I promise you, though, that if you keep running from me like you did the night you fell, I will cease to exi...."**__ (backspace) _

As he looked, frustrated, on his impossible paper, he began to realize what was bothering him so. He had given her permission to run. Away. From. Him. How could he do that? How could he just let her go-give her permission to just walk right out of his life? He was an idiot. He knew it. And he was utterly helpless if she did so decide to walk away from him. Or run, more like it, after what he had seen that night. But there was nothing he could do now. His decision was made-he would let her decide for herself. And now he had to live with the consequences. However, as he sat and pondered all this, the wind blowing through his window brought a familiar scent. As he ran down the stairs and flew out his door, he saw that his mind wasn't deceiving him. The strawberry scent of her hair that the wind brought really did belong to the girl running full speed at him. And this time there was no wonder. He knew he would catch her.  
_As she fell, breathlessly, into his arms._

Minutes later, as they talked, her story unfolded. But he still wasn't sure what she meant.

"But I failed you. I let you go and I thought I had lost you forever."

"No, not forever. You only let me go for a little while so you could have me back forever."

What did she mean? How could letting her go give her back forever?

"What do you mean?" It was no use trying to sort it out by himself. There were no secrets anymore. None that existed between them, at least.

"When I ran, it was not because I wanted to hide from you, it was not because I hated you. It was because I thought I needed to protect you. If you had tried to tell me any differently, I wouldn't have been able to accept it. If you had reached out I would have pushed you away. But you see, absence makes the heart grow fonder. As I laid in my room later that night, so utterly alone, I was finally able to hear. Before, my tears would not let me hear you, but when I had cried myself out, when I finally looked at my own heart. That is when I knew I loved you. I was finally able to hear all that you had wanted to say. So you see, your letting go helped me come back forever. And it will be forever. You are now my life, and you hold my heart in your palm."

And so they talked, two dark shadows in the doorway as the fiery sunset faded into soft pinks, and slowly disappeared into black.

The next morning, as he turned over to fall off his bed (as was his tradition every morning to wake up) he found himself pushed up against something very warm, and very not his floor. Waking up with a jolt, and a piercing scream that would rival any girl, he quickly threw back the blankets to unearth the foreign invader.  
_An invader with a very beautiful laugh._  
The events of the previous night quickly recapped in his mind. Words-moments in time came together to form a very complete picture. Writing, paper, concentrate, wind, hair, running, fall, talking, love, loss, happiness,_ forever_, sunset, dinner, falling-asleep? After the fog from his brain had cleared, he sheepishly coughed, and, deepening his voice just a little, told her good morning. Her laughter prohibited her from returning the state_The invader with a very beautiful laugh._ment, however, and all she could do for the next several minutes was sit, doubled over on his floor, and try to choke out a comment. After several more minutes, thoroughly embarrassed, he decided that enough was enough. Taking her gently by the arm, he helped her stand, and then proceeded to tickle her until she was gasping for breath as payment for her mocking of him.  
After their laughter ceased, she turned to him apologetically, stating that it was not her fault if he screamed like a girl.  
As he grimaced in return, his retort was cut short by another shriek, this time coming from the actual girl in the room.  
"WHAT TIME IS IT?!"  
As he turned to look at the clock, he noticed that they had long overslept, the clock hand turning slowly toward one pm. As he looked on, she started to fly around the room in a frenzy at the news of this hour. As she was about to run out of the room, he gently stopped her with a brush against her arm and a gentle reminder to change back into her daytime clothes. In her initial haste to see him the day before, she had simply run without any forethought, therefore, when they finally finished talking late into the night and they realized that there was no way she could go home until the morning, she had simply worn a pair of his huge gray sweats. Although she could fit another half of her into them, they were perfect, and the thought of changing brought a look of chagrin to her face. This he took notice of with some amount of perverted pleasure.  
How long he had waited for this.  
For her.  
After she had changed, and turned back into a full blown princess, skirts and all, they set off toward the big yellow castle, all the while thinking up excuses as to her never coming home the previous night. But when it came down to it, they decided that this was real life, they were grown up, and the only way was to be honest. "Whether it kills us or not." He stated-what he did not know, however, was how  
_very literal that may become._

She woke with a jolt the next morning, becoming suddenly aware that she was not in her own bed. An instant of fear turned quickly into wonder as she saw the now-familiar surroundings of his living room. Wondering how she had ended up there, she thought back to the night before as she wandered down his hallway-instinctively ending up in his room just as the events of the previous night came to the forefront of her mind. Endless talking. After she had fallen into his arms, they had talked for hours, enjoying their company, and every moment they were together, her heart healed a little more. The emotion of Joy grew deeper and deeper, planting itself firmly into her soul. When they had finally tired, and she had started to fall asleep gently against his stomach, they had discovered that it was an absurd time of night and it would be better to return her to her castle tomorrow.  
As she entered his room she took in carefully her surroundings. A desk, bed, chair- all your basic accessories, and nothing spectacular. But it was beautiful to her. The natural colors bringing a refreshing change to the pomp she was so used to and tired off. It was perfect, and it contained the most precious thing in the world. As she suddenly became aware of the freezing temperature in the room she quickly slipped into the bed next to him, and rubbed his arm in order to wake him up. For it had been ingrained in her since she was old enough to talk that her honor was to be protected at all costs.

At her tender touch, several surprising things happened at once. He rolled over, his warm body melting into hers for a brief moment, and then a piercing scream. Higher than that of any princess she had ever encountered, and a look of utter panic for one moment flashing across his face. The combination of her lack of sleep and the complete ridiculousness of his expression and-whatever it was that came out of his mouth-made her completely helpless to the fit of hysterics that enveloped her body. After several moments of undying laughter, she felt a gentle grasp around her wrist, soon followed by a not so gentle tug onto his knees, and a very cruel period of tickling.  
After she had finally gained her composure and offered him a proper good morning, the thought struck her that perhaps it wasn't quite morning. And as she remembered that she had never gone home the night before, something happened. Chains began to wrap themselves around her heart. As she looked on in wonder, she suddenly realized what it was. It was fear-encompassing her very soul and leaving her captive. However, that is the funny thing about Joy. Before, when her crown of tears was still intact, she could not realize what utter bondage fear left her in, but Joy opened her heart, and therefore her eyes. So now she could see. Now she could change it. But how?  
While all this realization was taking place, she was also running crazily around his room trying to collect everything so she could go. As soon as she had discovered that it was one pm, she knew that it was all over. She was dead. But just as she was about to run out the door, his soft voice cut through her clouded mind like a sword, healing instead of destroying, however. Much like a surgeon's scalpel in very capable hands. And as he lovingly told her to change out of his sweatpants, she looked in awe as the chains of fear around her heart loosened, and fell rattling to the ground. And that is when she realized. She got it.  
_He was the key._  
He knew her heart, he understood her pain, and because of that, he could fight her fear.  
He was the antidote to the poison. And she loved him all the more for it.  
As they walked hand in hand down the road.

Hours passing like a bright kite soaring against a blue sky, they soon reached the big yellow castle. As they drew up to the castle, she paused. She was just a girl, just an ordinary princess with a broken crown. And so she started to cry, but they were not from her crown of tears, for that was gone, they were instead tears of Joy. They were pure and unadulterated, and as he turned to brush them gently away, she saw in his own eyes matching emotion, and shimmering tears now longer being hidden.  
Unparalleled beauty.  
And so she reached up, and as she did so, it was as if her heart started to grow, but, not something so simple was the reality.  
No, instead, as they shared in their pain, and also in their new-found joy, their hearts started to meld, much like metal fusing. And as they did so, she started to take on his own burdens, his own pain-and his own joy. His happiness was now hers, and her mind filled to overflowing with new experiences and new understanding.  
He had seen her heart, and now she was beginning to see his.

**Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. ~Mark Twain  
Love to you all ~A**


	5. Memories and Voices

**Sorry the update took a few days...one of my sisters is getting married in two weeks, and another has all these projects she needs to get done before Aug 3, and I was sick...you know how life gets! And then there is the fact that I don't have too much motivation to update considering No One Reviews!!! I know some of you out there are reading thanks to the joy of story traffic, so I simply ask everyone who reads this chapter to stop by and leave a quick review :] I would appreciate your comments. **

**As always, not mine-even her father in this chapter...  
**

Time passed. Yet, they simply could not work up the courage to walk through the cold stone doorway into the looming building. Finally, however, as they sat, trying to work up the courage to face the royalty that were her parents, the castle door was flung backwards, and a flash of purple flew as a blur before them. Anger, greater than any storm, whirled around them. As she grasped for His hand, she found herself pulled by the storm into the castle, and the door shut firmly behind them. Her father.  
_A force of nature._  
Or maybe, a force of hell.  
As she looked on him, her heart started to quicken, and as he tightened his hold on her arm and dragged her through the castle she zoned out, her memories carrying her to places locked deeply in her heart.

She was a child.  
_A little girl, dancing through the castle, carefree, her pigtails flying behind her as she chased a ball from the dungeons up to the steeples.  
Unparalleled beauty.  
She saw her father's love, her mother's touch.  
She saw long nights, her father- her king, picking her up and swaying with her to the music of the minstrels._

Then the memories changed.  
_His hold on her tightened as they swayed, the music dimming to a far-away scream in her small ears as perfect impressions of his hands bruised into her slender arms. Long-forgotten memories flooding back, she saw Pain. And Anger. They knocked on the castle door, she saw her king-fighting against them; she then heard a sound she had never before known. Crying. Despair had entered her world. And as Pain and Anger took hold of her father- as he became captive to their control, he took her young heart with him. Holding it in his hand, in utter selfishness, he held this one possession tightly to him.  
Unparalleled pain.  
She saw her father's hate, her mother's despair.  
And then she finally saw the last memory-the day she realized the one thing that was supposed to protect her was the one thing that she must hide from._

And there the memories ended-and she stood- in the dungeons, facing a force that had struck fear into her and hardened her heart for years.  
He stood-a force unmovable. As she looked on his face, she prepared for the assault his words would have on her tender heart. For, ever since she was little, everything he did, every action that he-her king-executed crushed her spirit and sliced her fragile heart. When she was young, she had given her heart to the king for safekeeping, but once Anger and Pain overtook him, his betrayal and abuse had left her bruised heart mangled in more ways than even his tortured mind could imagine.  
And so it started.  
The day of reckoning.

**"You know what I am going to do to you?"  
"Do you understand that you are nothing?"  
"I will take you to the inner dungeons and lock you there to rot in your disgrace!"**

And so the king continued-the verbal assault raining like acid in the room. Yet, the more his bitter words spewed forth, the more she came to a startling realization. He was nothing.  
_Her king had no power._  
Her heart was still beating in her chest; it was remaining unbroken by the powerful force trying to shred it.  
And that's when she remembered, her heart was not her king's any longer. And as she became aware of the fact that her Love for her boy had taken her heart from the clutches of her king, taking with it any power that the king had contained over her, the calmer she stood, and the more quietly she waited for him to anger himself out.

Anger, is a funny thing, however. For it only takes a little anger to break the calm, and now that her heart no longer belonged to the king, she was discovering a new-found freedom.  
_She found her voice._  
It was small at first, remaining quiet withing her. But the fuse was lit in her soul, and his words finally drew the line.

**"You have no respect for this household or anything that me and your mother do for you. You sit around doing nothing for us, and then you leave until all obscene hours of the morning and now you just don't come home? You and everything you do is nothing, and you are lucky that we do so much for you. If you can't appreciate that I put a rook over your head enough to sleep under it at night, then you can to t…"**

And that's when her voice grew. It became real. And the king quickly learned that his little girl was all grown up.

"Phil! You have no idea what you are saying. You are so wrapped up in your own world that you never noticed or cared what I did so why is it that now the one time you happen to be home for any length of time, you think that you can tell me what I can and cannot do?! You know what else- you do nothing for me. I've been taking care of myself for years, and you can't take your head out of your ass long enough to realize that the world does not revolve around you. For years I have stood by and let you act like you do, and say what you say and do what you do. I tried for a long time to justify it for you-because I loved you. But there is no excuse-no reason strong enough for what you have done and said. And if anybody is doing anything for anybody it is me for you- and I never get anything back. No- That's a lie, I get criticism and ridicule and punishment. You think that you rule the world- but you don't. You cannot even get a handle on your own life. If you truly cared for anybody but yourself, you would realize that being an ass gets you nowhere, and everyone is going to walk away from you. And for the first time, I'm not afraid to tell you exactly how I feel.

I HATE YOU. I have for years. And I going to be the first to walk away."

Her so called father raised his hand to slap her for her outburst and before he could even come close, something else happened. The dungeon doors were whipped open, and He came. Running at full speed. There was no falling, no wiping of tears. No yelling. As the one man who now held her heart grabbed her hand.

_And took her just as she was._

**Okay, I have a confession to make...I can Not take credit for all of this chapter. My best friend wrote all of the section where Bella is finally retaliating at Phil. This story was written for her, and it being a very personal scene I felt that letting her write it was only fair :] If you liked that little bit of writing, I definitely recommend that you check her out. She is known here as iTsCoMpLiCaTeD. She has some very good stories, I would definitely say she exceeds my writing skills!**

**Also, if any of you have LiveJournal, I just got one, so friend me :) I'm dancelovefaith-same as here. If any of you haven't heard of it before, you should check it out-its a really cool way to post some of your thoughts to the world at large! **

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter ~A  
**


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